Funny how I started writing this blogpost back in December (still blonde!) when I finally didn’t feel like almost suffocating anymore due to stress. And now 8 months later I’m in a similar situation.
At least it’s not as bad this time because I realized how stressed out I was and tried to relax more.
There were way too many things I wanted to do at once because I just couldn’t say no and tried to squeeze in as many things into my free time as possible.
Being stressed out all the time made me extremely sensitive to noise. I heard EVERYTHING in the old apartment and couldn’t enjoy a bit of silence without earplugs in or my headphones on. I’m also having trouble sleeping next to someone who snores or talks during sleep I’m pretty sure it wasn’t as bad in the past, so that kind of sucks.
Me not being able to relax after work and feeling mentally exhausted all the time almost made it unbearable for me being at home in my bedroom.
I didn’t feel well being surrounded by screaming children, barking dogs, arguing people and even the annoying sound of the ventilation in someone’s bathroom, all thanks to these thin walls in this apartment building. Constantly hearing my room mates TV as if it was in my room and hearing the door slamming on a regular basis made it kind of a nightmare for me. It caused a lot of tension and even almost made us withdraw from our lease to look for separate apartments.
I didn’t even realise how stressed out and unhappy I was. I mean, it was as always I just felt easily annoyed and not being able to relax isn’t too bad as long as I’m doing something useful (for others) instead, right?
There were a lot of times where I wanted to be at several places at once or tried to do as many things myself in a group project
because I probably just underestimated the others in my group.
The result: I half-assed a lot of things or couldn’t enjoy the time I was spending with my friends because I constantly had to check the time for my next “appointment”.
I’m glad these things have gotten better. I never really had the Fear of Missing Out (check out FOMO that’s actually a thing!) and would mostly rather cancel plans instead of piling up meetings after meetings.
But how did this even happen and what helped me accept that I was only one person and I couldn’t do 100 things at the same time?
You probably heard or said the sentence “No matter what, I will always be here to listen and help if you need it!” before. Now imagine you used to be a horrible person so you made it your duty helping as much people and friends as possible. So because you’re a nice person a lot people want to be friends with you. All of a sudden there are so many people you want to give your attention to because you want to help or brighten their day.
I think it’s safe to say that this isn’t really easy. I get extremely emotionally involved if someone I care about feels down or struggles with something. In my case most of the struggles contain mental health, money and relationship problems. Not really something that you can quickly talk about and everything’s fine again. But I love doing that and normally it’s not even a problem for me wouldn’t there be the amount of hobbies I have now..
I used to be really active back when I was in my apprenticeship. I went to at least 3 gigs a week, went out every weekend and even visited the gym 2-3 times a week for 3 months straight, this while still going to school and work.
Since I had this horrible job at a support hotline I didn’t really had time time or energy for a hobby. After getting a new job I struggled with financial problems and since most hobbies are expensive I mostly stayed at home.
Last year I finally got over myself and instead of just staying at home and trying to save money I decided I should invest my free time and start my blog. Next to blogging, I still met friends (who are all spread around the German-speaking part of Switzerland), went to shows every now and then, had really fun photo shootings and a boyfriend I only saw on weekends.
I even started taking Japanese lessons once a week for 3 months and joined my lovely dance group which was and still is quite time consuming.
On top of that I started watching more series and animes, wanted to get back into gaming and reading and also started doing Cosplay. Oh, and your gurl loves to take spontaneous weekend trips as well ahahaha
In the meantime I also entered the K-Pop hell if you know about that you know how time consuming this can get (finding new artists, learning dances, going to meet ups, start watching K-Dramas etc.)
Normally I start losing interest in a hobby after a certain time but it seems these days I’m just piling them up and some things are being more neglected than others. For example I kind of neglected blogging a bit and after October I’ll maybe try to take a step back from the dance group.
Anyways, after noticing how I was struggling at work because I tried to plan and organise several things, meeting as many friends in a short time as possible and having at least 3 reminders a day I noticed that I couldn’t continue this way since I started mixing up dates, constantly asking people the same thing and even almost forgetting important stuff. But I really didn’t know how to handle it so I just dropped the thought again and tried to manage it somehow.
As always someone else had to step in and tell me that there’s something wrong and I need to fix it.
All pictures have been taken and edited by the cutie Natasha from Kvntergrau Photography who I will see again veery soon ❤ (Guurl, how has it almost been a year tho? Hahaha)
My room mate who has been my best friend and sister-from-another-mother for almost half my life wanted to talk to me. She noticed I wasn’t honest with her and held back a lot of things I was supposed to say because they were bothering me.
She asked me why I was so stressed out and if I was able to actively live and have some proper me-time. I thought about it and realised it must have been months since the last time and I freaked out.
How did this happen? Why didn’t I notice myself? Even my body showed signs e.g. I had weird stomach aches for almost two weeks, I was constantly tired, had headaches and was extremely impatient and anxious.
But it helped.
After being extremely busy in June I decided to take it down a notch. We finally moved out of this horrible apartment and although we’ve got way more neighbours than before you can hardly hear anything. It’s next to the forest so you can just go on the balcony and enjoy almost absolute silence and the sound of nature.
I’m still super active when it comes to seeing my friends or doing something I love (e.g. blogging, dancing, listening to music etc.). I’m always replying to messages on all platforms but I’m taking my time now.
I try to stay focused at work and doing one thing after another which is still super hard for me but I’m working on my concentration problem. I’m trying to enjoy more me-time and even get over my phone “addiction”.
It’s not easy and there will probably be times where I need to check on myself again but I’m determined that this will not go overboard again.
So here are a few tipps for all the control freaks and people who overestimate themselves:
- If you always feel stressed out and got the feeling you’re being extremely forgetful, you need to change something.
- If you’re on the edge of a burn out: Talk to your boss or teacher and tell them you can’t do everything and you need to reduce your work.
- If you constantly cancel on friends or meetings: Try not to plan too many things for a day or even a week, seriously me-time is way more important sometimes.
- Ask yourself: Is it really that bad if you’re missing out on an event or did you just wanted to go because you didn’t want to feel left out?
- If you made yourself too much work: Is there someone who could help you that you can rely on?
- Make a to-do and a priority list; Try to do one thing after another.
- Give yourself breaks in between
- Try to get rid of anything that could distract you (e.g. open tabs like Facebook and Instagram on your computer or your phone/the notifications on your phone, set it to the “Don’t Disturb” mode if you need to stay focused)
(Reading my own tips again after almost a year feels super weird. Past me would probably be like: YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS WHY DID YOU STILL MANAGE TO FALL FOR THIS AGAIN?! UGH!!”)
Sometimes there has to be someone that gets you back and calms you down. Understands your situation and is there for you when you need help or even if you just need to vent.
There’s a reason I don’t just give up on my friends. No matter how time and energy consuming it can get while still having hobbies, I will always be the friend being there for them especially if it’s appreciated.
Because they don’t just give me their gratefulness in form of a hug, a cute text or a simple “Thank you for being here for me” but also they will help me in return.
So in conclusion I learned that it is good to have goals and plans, trying to help people and enjoying life but you shouldn’t overdo it.
Guys, please take care of yourselfs.